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During the process of developing Britain’s Biggest Fart App for Red Nose Day we have uncovered much about the delights of farting (and some clues on how gamification might be used to connect charities  to new audiences).

Therefore we’d like to share our top 5 learnings in hope of inspiring others to follow in these pioneering farty footsteps.


Do all farts make you laugh? After surveying the first 100 we can categorically say no.

We suspect there is a primal human instinct tuned to know when a satisfying flirty fart flips into an extended sign of serious ill health and you should be reaching for 999.

We found ‘wetter’ is better but too long was wrong.


Very long farts just hang around like, well … a bad smell and in group situations (and our research meetings) long farts lead to serious embarrassment and awkwardness.  Over 30 seconds and people were sitting there with Queen Victoria’s ‘we are not amused’ face on and the clock went backwards.

Unless you have a serious gross-out addiction, 15 seconds is the maximum length of fart any civilised human being could stand (and that’s sound only, no smell included). Our scientists recommend a perfectly formed fart of 2-6 seconds for maximum comic pleasure.

Boy those meetings were fun.


If you have fond memories of Mr Methane on Britain’s Got Talent you might be shocked to know it’s harder than it looks to make musical methane intelligible to the human ear.

We tested wet sounds, dry sounds, fast tunes, slow tunes, pop farts, classical symphonic farts (over 100 in all) to discover ‘deep and wet’ is definitely easier on the ear.

The pleasure in musical farts comes from recognition. Don’t recognise the tune? Then it’s game over. So our ideal trumper tune comes with a light backing track and instantly recognisable, old reliable tunes like this royal ripper.


Buffalo. Remember all that Derren Brown power of suggestion stuff. Buffalo. Did I mention a farting buffalo? Human brains are brilliant at connecting words and images. Try not imagining what a buffalo looks like right now. It gets in your head.

Anonymous farts are dull, they confuse the brain, we don’t know how to react if we don’t know where or who they are coming from. Farts need a name or a person or animal to bring them alive. I give you Nana at Christmas.


So if farts need names, how do you name your guff?

People, animals and unexpected pairings all are good places to start, but they all have to work with the fart sound you’ve captured.

We were delighted to find this gem …

We’re just sad Shakespeare’s fart and Fart in Space didn’t make the final cut.

That would have made it classy and international.

We help innovative people and charities create and test new fundraising ideas, or products and services that generate income for good causes. If you’d like the lab’s help to get a great idea off the ground email us:


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